You *WILL* Like/Mind Me.

My dog, arguably one of the biggest jerkfaces in the history of el pooch, isn't really a people person. Perhaps he inherited that quality from his introverted folk, or maybe something went haywire in his gene pool. Regardless, he likes who he likes, and would gladly see an end to those he doesn't. He has a pack mentality (though we don't), as long as the pack consists of *his* pack, which includes myself, Parks, K, Joey, my parents, Parker's parents, and sometimes K's mom (though he resents her for coming by and Taking Boy Away). Anyone else he either tolerates or he doesn't, but there are some that he distrusts straight up into Detest Land.

I honestly don't care that much about it--liking or not liking someone is his prerogative so long as he knows he can't rip someone's throat out (and indeed, his leash has been the main hinderer of that particular impulse in terms of the oh so hated bicyclists, rollerbladers and crotch rockets)--and doesn't get me into any lawsuit terrain. But it's not really his disdain for members of canus or humanity that puts me into unnerving and potentially high-stress situations but the ways in which people assume and demand loyalty, obedience and kindness from him when he is not forthcoming in giving these feelings/actions. In other words, people feel a certain right to be liked...which I think is sort of in the realm of Nice Guy Registered Trademark as it indicates an expectancy that is not rooted in any kind of law or function of a lifeform. The "You WILL mind me" mentality runs parallel to the "You WILL go out with me" or "You WILL give me a chance" or "You WILL come home with me tonight" when the end result is, "Whaa! You're a big meanie and I'm telling everyone what a bitch you are!" This same system applies to anyone or anything alive that isn't fulfilling someone else's expectation.

Now, I'm certainly guilty of this. If I'm at the U, and I see someone walking a cute dog, my immediate reaction is, "Cute dog! I wanna pet it." But if said cute dog was a total a-hole to me, I think I'd accept it and be all, "Well...I guess they no likey me." I don't attempt to force the animal into a situation it clearly wants no part of because "It SHOULD be nice to me."

The reason for this post is the stress I just underwent yesterday when this kid that lives across the street from Parker's parents just would not get over it. He's about 11 or 12, and he has it in his head that he must be obeyed, because all good pet owners break their dogs of their non-obedient behavior. Well, Lord Sirius hates this kid. He hates most kids, really, because to him I expect they look like sheep, being that they're smaller in stature, and since he wants to herd them, and they refuse to be herded, there must be something wrong with them and therefore he wants no part of these freaks of nature. However, this particular child continued to approach him, again and again, despite the fact that he was getting a nasty vibe and serious Mean Face, which involves every single sharpie in Sirius's mouth bared. It's EXTREMELY obvious. The message, "Stay the fuck away from me, Kid, or I'll eat your wrist" isn't ambiguous in any way, but he just won't get it. Approach Approach Approach because You WILL Mind Me is just how things are. Except they aren't. Not in Ma Haus. I got sick of this shit, because I'll be damned if I'm payin for him to go to a hospital because he's being a dumbass. So I'm like, "Dude. We go over this everytime he comes here. He DOESN'T LIKE YOU, and he WILL bite if he feels threatened. I can't keep him offa you while I'm here in the pool. GET AWAY FROM HIM." And then the male mewling kicks in, "But I just wanna pet him! MY dog lets me pet him!"

Well...go fucking pet your own dog, then. Mine's got taste. And some semblance of autonomy--ridiculous or not, it's his. Just like mine is mine, but mens can't seem to wrap their heads around that one, either.