Invisible Woman

I was watching The Sopranos and saw a man beat a woman to death. The men were upset because he'd "disrespected" the stripclub she worked for in doing so. It was one of the most violent scenes I'd ever seen, and it had followed another horrific scene in which the therapist on the show was brutally raped in a parking garage stairwell. The graphic nature of each literally almost made me run to the toilet to vomit. But when I looked to see if there was backlash to the semi-constant, exceedingly graphic violence against women on the show, the only thing that came up for criticism was the ways in which people felt the show depicted Italian-Americans. The whole woman beating thing was never mentioned that I saw.

Now, I realize they're probably going for realism. Realistically, however, a lot of abuse is less obvious, and this show lacks subtlety. Not all rape victims have their faces bludgeoned. I know they might be trying to make a point about the darkness of these people, but there comes a time when it gets so tiresome, so overwhelming, when women are used as tools to depict the violence of a character. When we are just ragdolls, utilitarian in seeking revenge upon our owners and in creating "riveting" television.

So, guess how many strong female characters in television have some kind of rape story? I'd wager all. Buffy fought one off. Joanie from Mad Men--raped. Gemma from Sons? Raped. And now I see Dr. Melfi is no exception.

I can't help but feel that the depiction of all this rape is not to send a message about the frequency of rape and the problems therein, but because no one knows how to write any other storyline for women. It's what we are here for. To screw, or rape, or be used in some other fashion. The flippancy of it is the hardest to bear. Admittedly I sometimes have a hard time leaving the home, not because I fear a rape, but I abhor that levity, that flight of fancy, devil may care attitude that we are swaddled in when but mere babes, someone discovers that we harbor the weak organs, and therefore are nestled into the deep chasms of Doesn't Matter and Nothing. And everyone thinks I'm crazy, and everything is just just great and hush now.

Every now and then I wander over to the True Crime section of the bookstore, which is the farthest from the counter and in a darker corner. I was appalled to discover, a few years ago, a book detailing the 50 or so women one serial killer had taken from this world. That was a ridiculous amount of people, I thought. How could he have gotten away with it for so long? How have I not heard of him? The massive televised reports on serial killers like Dahmer and Gein and the movies made about them had seemed to indicate they were the worst in their field, but the fact of the matter is that no one will notice if 50 or 100 or a million women are murdered if they're not good little blonde girls who could be married off with dowries--if they are prostitutes or strippers, no one will ever notice or care. And why would anyone care? Two pigs in NY--Police Officers--were just acquitted of rape charges wherein the evidence was staggeringly clear they were guilty. Why should anyone care?

And it all makes me sick. I had a supervisor once who used to work for Shopko. Some guy came in right before close and threw a bunch of clothes on the ground for no apparent reason, then looked up at her and grinned and said, "I bet that makes you really mad, huh?" To which she smiled brightly and said, "Nah. It's job security." So the Ann Rules of the world, perhaps the most prolific of True Crime writing, are really invested in rape and serial killing, really, because hey--what else would they do to earn? How could Truman Capote have written In Cold Blood if cold blood had not run in someone's veins in the first place? All this sensationalism over and over sells and sells and sells and I'm just so weary of being sold sold sold and it's everywhere and I want it to

Stop.


And then I'm at the laundromat, and I'm looking at a newspaper someone left behind, and there's an ad for a stripclub in Rapids--free rails, and always hiring dancers, and "drama queens need not apply" and I wonder what they mean by that, by "drama queen," is it someone who doesn't want sexual harassment who wants to be paid decently without having to give up her earnings to the house who wants to rest her stilettoed feet now and then? What does that mean?

No one is making tear tracks for the women in the world, in the stories, in songs that are treated like nothing more than disposable cum socks, but Rihanna is being protested because of her violent revenge fantasy music video. I do wonder about that.